Letter To Lover

There are some things I want you to know.

This past 2 years have had a huge impact on me. I believe we go through life, we touched and are touched, and some of those touches mold us, shape our evolution, become part of us forever. My experience with you has been one of those touches.

I chose, way back when, to open to you - open like I don't usually. I put down my usual tools of protection that keep my heart safe, keep you distant so you can't hurt me. I exposed my insides to you, and I remained open even when the risk to me was great, even when I got scared, even now. I was rewarded with friendship and depth and connection and that wonderful feeling of 'alive'!

The thing that can hurt me the most is emotional pull back without explanation, being 'cut off' from communication, and having someone I care for just... drop out of my life. I think you know this about me, yet it is how you're choosing to do this. I can deal with over. I can deal with "I met someone". Hell, I'm actually kinda ready for a little less myself. I want very much for you and I to be friends. I'm more sad than I can express - not because it may be over, but because it may be over like this.

I want to believe that what we've shared has meaning for you. I would like to think that would motivate you to treat me with respect, kindness and caring in our parting. I suppose though, there are a lot of things I'd like to think. *sigh*

I hope we resolve this - though some of this damage cannot be undone - with some sense of what we have shared, because I'd sure like to think of you and smile or see you at the coffee shop and know we are still friends, still close, not feel some combination of more negative feelings.